I am Shayan, Psychologist by profession, and a Type 1 champion by will, to strive and survive for my loved ones from last 20 years. I was diagnosed back in 2001 when I was 7 years old and was found in DKA followed by comma. There was no family history for the cause of it neither a lifestyle would have defined my condition. Rather, it was something I was made for, not by choice but by destiny that unfolded my strengths to live for and, in addition to do so many other things that binds my ambitions and vision, to lead this life.
Reflecting on my type 1 journey from childhood, to adolescence, and adulthood: I have had dealt with challenges of every stage separately that influenced me to grow personally and professionally through psychosocial, societal, and economic, disparities that never justified my strengths to fight for myself and for the equity I deserved. The interesting part is, I always learned through the encounters of my bad influences that shaped my thought process to always have a contradictory style of justifying things.
Before writing my testimonial, I was looking forward to give it a title and suddenly, the question “why I never questioned Allah and even my own self, “WHY ME”? Might be a thought that bad things stay as a shadow to provide with the light to always reflect on as a part of learning and growth. In my opinion, the question of why me? Can never hinder anyone’s success and a sense of purpose if they are born and meant to travel on the journey they are destined for.
So, out of a series of my lived experiences, I would reflect on one of the experiences that actually broke my heart and it took me years to bury that grief inside my heart with acceptance and patience.
The loss of my loved ones in the same year one after another, people who loved me the most, and living without them, was the turning point for me. It is rightly said that suffering is done alone! After 7 years from now, I have learned to keep those people in my heart and visit them whenever I need them inside the deepest corner of my heart. For that “in my dreams we are always together”. The impact of my emotional sensitivity on my diabetes management at that time was the most challenging one.
Turing my pain into power by never doubting myself and with the constant support and encouragement from my family especially my mother had always been my strength. If ever, I was given a chance, to choose diabetes by choice that would pay off in the form of warm hugs, acceptance, unconditional regard and acknowledgement from my mother, younger sister and loved ones. I, would have surely choose the diabetes journey by choice without giving a second thought.
Apart from this, Diabetes never stopped me to grow and experience wonders that life placed in my hands. From gym, games, dancing, to trekking and camping for 3 nights with diabetes among an unknown group of trekkers was one of the experiences that made me believe in myself more than I ever did. But that does not mean I am never low: “not hypos 😉 but depressed, sad, unmotivated!
During my lows apart from taking glucose: p I always remember my mother’s words that kept me going no matter what. As once, out of distress I asked her: “Ammi? Where do I lack? And she replied: Beta! You never know what Allah has for you. Sometimes we wish for so little and He had bigger plans than we expect. What I want from you is to “NEVER STOP”. You cannot always give your best but you can always keep on trying. So, never stop. As life goes on”. There is not a single human being who is not destined for struggles in this life. The point is everyone’s struggle path is different from the other. So, let your tears shine a light in this world.
Everyone must have a sense of motivation. If you have none discovered so far, you need to look around ,over and over and over again. A few struggles are worth living for!